Voloptuous and Proud!

Can I just tell everyone how nice it is to aspire to be someone that is a real size. Adele is such an inspiration to girls everywhere I feel. I'm not looking at the kind of clothes that I wish I could fit into as often. I love the way I look, and I'm not afraid to sound cocky. It just feels amazing to be able to eat a cookie or a hamburger and not worry that I have to be fat for one more day. And it feels wonderful to not have to contemplate starving myself to look beautiful.  Because I honestly don't feel like I'm fat anymore. Granted I'm probably the biggest I've ever been, but I'm the most comfortable with my body that I have EVER been in my life. I feel beautiful more days than not, and I'm not sure if it's just the people I'm surrounding myself with or if I'm just maturing in a way that I never thought could happen. This amazing woman has sung her way into so many ladies hearts (skinny and voloptuous) and she does it with the upmost class I've seen. In my opinion she is the Audrey Hepburn of our generation. Her music is absolutely moving and from what I can tell from her videos she has some amazing grace and a wonderful heart. If there was a way to be her friend I would absolutely try my hardest for her to like me. She is talented in every single way. THIS girl is what I look up to and admire.

Where do I even start? (Rantings)

Dear Mr. Creep,

No, I do not want to sit by you while you embarrass yourself and me by being annoying to the whole class. I'm not a mean person but by your "no stereotype" persona your quick to judge, that by me wearing nice clothes it means I have no problems in the world. Do you need some glasses or do you just need to open your eyes? Stop trying to act more sophisticated than anyone else, I know it's just a joke. People who try to act sophisticated are just worried about what people think, not about actually learning. Although I appreciate your input in class, that does not mean I have to like you. I will give you the benefit of the doubt one more time, but I swear... If you interrupt me or verbally attack my work again... I won't be very happy. I am not morbid :/ and I'm sure your intelligent in your own way, but stop trying to shove your intellegent persona down my throat. Thank you.




Dear Mrs. History Teacher,

I understand that you get nervous during class, but your pacing around the room tires me out. History puts me to sleep faster than a baby anyways, but your excessive ways of exercising in class distracts me. I'm not trying to be rude but you need to tone it down.

I really wonder what your grade was in speech class. Taking speech while taking this class can be why I'm so biast about this subject. Although I don't think I'm wrong. Your lectures are sporadic, and I can't keep up. You go from one subject to another and when you stop a topic, instead of easing out of it, you comment with "so.." or "anyways...". This is AWKWARD. Have you ever heard of the term white noise? It's something radio stations hate because the listener gets bored easily and changes the channel. Well, I change the channel many times in this class. So please, take a speech class while your here, or practice in a mirror at home but for the sake of my grade.. do something different.

p.s. Another thing, I have 3 other VERY long classes besides yours, so NO I will not read your reading assignments you assign to us that are 50 pages long per week + the 4 articles on the web you want us to read. Your ridiculous.

Thank you

Thinking in Inspiration

I've been sitting in the library for about 2 hours now looking at inspiring quotes. Apparently it's my new hobby because that's all I seem to be doing.

I'm in a good place right now. I'm stressed just about everyday, but that IS the life of a college student and I have homework to get done. BUT it's amazing how at ease I feel with myself at this moment. That's what I love about reading quotes because it reminds you that no one is living your life but YOURSELF, and you can do whatever the hell you want. So what is stopping us? This is my new perspective on things, what I want to live by. I feel like every single person I look up to has not gotten where they are by staying in the tightly sealed box that society expects us to live in. They are creative and thing OUTSIDE this box.

My perspective on things has changed since I've come back to college. First things first is I don't have a crush on any specific guy, which means that I'm not out to impress anyone. I get up every morning and think about how I want to look that day. If it's no make up and sweat pants, so be it! I'm not looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with right now, I'm too ambitious for that. It's so relieving that I can't really put it into creative words. It's just simple. I'm making myself happy before I can make anyone else happy. Another thing I'm trying to work on is figuring out what I want to go to school for. I've been considering taking a semester off or maybe I just need to explore my options a little more closely! It's either makeup or writing, so there isn't really a big range of decisions there. Even though the ultimate decision is the catch.

Another thing I want to do is explore different religions. What's the harm in that? I need to work at what makes me happy and if I can find a religion that doesn't base it's beliefs with judgements then I'll be headed towards the right direction.

Today I feel like I'm getting a fresh start. And who knows, tomorrow I may backtrack, but right now I'm going to enjoy this feeling of being free. I'm ready to work towards my happiness because one of the quotes I read today was

"Happiness is not a destination, it's a way of life."

MOVE IN SUCCESS!

Moved into my apartment! It's pretty awesome. I have my own closet and the bathroom is in the room. Everyone else here seems to be very nice. I can't decide if I want to read my speech book or take a nap because moving in took a lot of energy out of me! One of the coolest things about the apartment? It has an accent wall. :) Then there are sliding glass doors (that don't ACTUALLY slide) so they are more like picture windows. It's pretty neat. I didn't have to bring much at all, the cabinets are full of dishes and they have decorations. It's pretty awesome. The only thing I really need to get is a lamp, apparently the people who designed this apartment only thought that the kitchen and bathrooms needed overhead lighting... So I'm off to Gordmans in the next week to get a kick ass lamp and possibly a picture frame so my Marilyn Monroe picture looks better than hanging there by tacks. Although it feels like a weekend, I still have 2 classes tomorrow..blah! Oh well, after classes are out I'm home bound to go camping with Dad! It's going to be a weekend FULL of campfire food, fishing, and soaking up the sun! and for me it's also for studying...but I'm pretty sure I did that last year there too. Oh the joys of college!