Why am I still in Indiana?

I sit here in a completely sour mood wondering why I'm still living in Indiana, with it's unecessarily unpredictible weather and the cowboy boots and boys who chew tobacco. There is nothing here that interests me. I am such a simple person but here I feel so conflicted? I'm sure it's not just Indiana, but if my optimism is tied to the sun like it seems to be, can I live in such a dreary place? Where all there is for 6 months are clouded skies that promise ice and cold? I think of my ambitions that I have and realize, there is nothing I can accomplish here. The only thing I can think that is good for Indiana is starting a family, getting a mediocre job and marrying a coalminer. At least that's all I see. I want a place where I can open up the windows everyday and let the sun shine in. I want the winters to feel like spring. I want the inspiration that comes with the sunset and star gazing every night. I want to meet an amazing intellegent guy with a good heart and amazing dreams and ambitions like I have. I feel like I'm asking for too much but I don't think that's too many things to make me happy. I like to think I'm simple. I want to struggle for something I love, to appreciate every bit of it. I want to live my life for ME.

I ask myself why I just don't get a one way plane ticket and just move away from everything and start my new life. Start everything fresh. Then it's days like these where I feel my worst, the days are as dreary as ever and I don't even want to get out of bed. Then here comes barging in my friends, obliviously lifting up my spirits. The people I can't live without no matter the miles. The ones I can always count on. They might not always be beside me but they will always be with me in one way, near the vecinity of the cavity where my heart is.  They are my everything, from my old friends, college friends, new baby brother, and my family members that have been there for everything. Even though I will be living hours and hours away from you, doesn't mean we will lose distance between our hearts. You guys are my everything, your the reason I can get through all the tough shit. And when I'm opening up my windows to the sunny warm skies and feel the sun on my skin I'll think of you, and how I would have never gotten there without you.