Thursday, March 17, 2011

What the Hell!

Is my life really that uninteresting!? Why doesn't anyone follow me...hello! I don't necessarily like talking to myself. Should I just shoot my dreams now of being an author?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Some deep shit ( horrible grammar bc I did this on the iPhone. )

I read so many facebook updates about god here lately. Has everyone became openly religious all of a sudden? Or is it fear of not having God's acceptance? I believe in religion as well as God. But I am not so blind to see that God can't be perceived in different ways. I HIGHLY believe in having hope and faith for something greater. I think it's wonderful that people remain so faithful and kind.

What I don't understand is the hate and self righteousness that comes with religion. Believing in God is suppose to be this wonderful thing but it's masked by hate and by being suffocated by standards that are so high they can never truly be met. No one excepts another for many different reasons. But it all comes back to two things selfishness and self rightcheousness. Some People may think " god loves me more because I go to church" and that gives them the narcissistic views of themselves. But does hating most of gods children and making their lives miserable please HIM. maybe it pleases your god but not mine.

This is my visiOn of God. I don't think he could hurt a fly. We are all here for a reason but we are here with free will. We make our choices which our lives revolve around the consequences. There might be a hell also. I just can't imagine something that is so wonderful, being so awful.

Now 2012 is coming up VERY fast and it's freaking me out, along with everyone else. The mayans ( I think) predicted the world was going to end. This could in fact be true. But I still don't believe that god is going to cone down and tell certain people that they aren't worthy of his love.I think he would understand how harsh this world is and how uninviting even his most avid worshiper can be. I believe that if this world is to end on 2012... It's because we destroyed it And ourselves along with it. Maybe I sound like a hipie, but is it so wrong to believe in a love that great or a hate so strong that we could petentually destroy ourselves?

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Ukulele


In just a few weeks I will learn to play the ukulele :) I'm pretty damn excited!

Faerie Tales

Have you ever pictured something turning out to be wonderful, but then come to find out it's mediocre? It happens to me quite a bit. You could call me an extremist in the daydreaming category. I'm concerned, really. It seems as if I live in another world entirely. When I walk to school I barely remember how I got there because I was off in my idyllic world, only coming out to tread through my usual routine during the day. Wake up. Class. Eat. Sleep. I used to blame it on being creative. I would say "I'm a creative writer that's how my brain works!" Although now, I'm starting to wonder if it is ,in fact, ignorance that runs my other world. I day dream to get away from the world when it's too much to handle. What happens when the bad out weighs the good? Will I get stuck in my dreams forever?

Does this make me an idiot?

I want people to think of me and have the word intelligent following close behind. At this I completely fail. When someone thinks of me it's "oh that bigger girl," or "she is funny" or the word ditsy is riding right along with my name. It's not exactly the word I want to be associated with. How do I stop being ditsy and start being intelligent? That's my dilemma. How can I "be myself" and set a good impression of myself also?

Also, how do I get ANYWHERE in my life when I don't take action and do it? I think of these wonderful things I would like to do and it never gets done. "Something" always gets in the way, and by something I mean my excuses. This is how people end up staying in Southern Indiana and that can't be my future.

Do I need to wake up? If not, how do I put my intertwine my world with the real world?